Category / Emotional Intelligence / Personal Growth / Relationships
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The 3 “L” Method of Communication for Couples
Communication between partners can be messy and complicated. That is why I developed the 3 “L” Method of Communication. It is easy to remember, and has hand motions to reinforce its use. Look, Listen, Let Go. Look – personal communication is enhanced when the people who are talking to each other actually look at each…
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When Grown Men Don’t Act Their Age
Unfortunately, men don’t always act their age. Here are some examples: They get defensive when given feedback they don’t like They disappear or go silent when given feedback they don’t like They don’t admit they are wrong, when they clearly are They don’t apologize when they are clearly wrong They…
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How husbands can avoid arguments with their wives (partners)
Most arguments between husbands and wives (partners) can be avoided. To do this, we need to stop and listen, take responsibility for our words and actions, and avoid getting defensive. Here is an example of how to get into an argument. Wife: Honey, I don’t like when you use my car and don’t lock it…
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Becoming an Effective People Manager
Dear Coach: I am a successful broker who has created a team consisting of myself, a marketing/transaction coordinator, and a buyer’s agent. I am having some ongoing challenges managing my two team members. When I ask a member to do a task, I don’t usually follow-up so sometimes it doesn’t get done or get done…
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One Divorce is Enough
Question: If you are going through a divorce, or have been divorced before, how do you avoid going through another one? Answer: Figure out how you contributed to your first (and hopefully last) divorce, and don’t repeat what you did. When going through a divorce, we typically focus on what our partner did wrong. As a result,…
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Why Men Don’t Like (or Know How) to Apologize
Do you have trouble admitting a mistake and apologizing? I had that problem for many years. Here is why it was hard for me: First off, I didn’t think I made mistakes, so there was no reason to apologize. I grew up believing that mistakes were bad and to be avoided at all costs. I…
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The #1 Mistake Men Make After a Divorce
If you were to guess what the #1 mistake men make after divorce, what do you think it would be? In my experience, the #1 mistake is not looking at how we contributed to our divorce. I know this because this is what I did (after my first marriage). Other men I have worked with…
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Being an “Insignificant” Other
Have you ever been referred to, or introduced by, your partner as their “significant” other? Or perhaps you have heard your friends or acquaintances speaking about their “significant” other. If a significant other is someone who has significance in your life, what, then, is an “Insignificant” other? I believe that an “insignificant” other is a…
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Do you Listen to Care, or Listen to Fix?
When we listen to fix, we are not really listening. Instead, we are thinking of ways to solve the other person’s problem. When we are preoccupied with thinking of solutions, we are anxious for our turn to talk so we can share our wonderful ideas. This takes us away from being fully present. In addition,…
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Why Men Have Trouble Listening at Home
Most men I talk to agree that listening to their partners and kids is challenging. Why should this be? Although I am singling out men, I know women can also have this issue. Here are some reasons why men have trouble listening at home: Men (and women) maybe tired of listening when they get home…