"Consult The Coach" Archives
Stuart Kaufman, MS, MBA
“The Real Estate Coach”

May 2008 - Volume 8, Issue 4

Q. Dear Coach:

I know that I should ask for referrals, but I don’t like doing it. I feel like a used car salesman - which makes me uncomfortable. Besides, I have been in Real Estate for almost 5 years and I do get some referrals - even when I don’t ask for them. I know that I would get more referrals if I did ask, but I just seem to be stuck. What do you recommend?

Signed,

Referral Underachiever

A. Dear “Referral Underachiever”,

There is a saying that “Those you ask, receive.” It is as true in Real Estate as it is in any other referral- based business. When I teach my “Get Your Sphere in Gear” clock hour class, I ask for a show of hands of those agents who want a “referral based” business – meaning that most of their business would come from referrals. The vast majority of the agents raise their hands. I then ask for a show of hands of agents who routinely ask for referrals. Less than 20% raise their hands. What a disconnect! Agents want referrals, but are unable or unwilling to ask for them. As a result, most agents (including yourself) are losing out on a lot of business.

Fear is the most common reason agents don’t ask for referrals.

• Fear of self-promotion – it is all about us!
  
• Fear of being perceived as being desperate for business – why else would we ask?
  
• Fear of rejection – what if they say no?
  
• Fear of asking others for help - we want to believe we can do it ourselves.
  
• Fear of being perceived as a “salesman/saleswoman” – boy are we pushy!

In all of these cases, we tend to feel uncomfortable and/or apologetic. In the “Get Your Sphere in Gear” clock hour class, I challenge agents to shift their thinking so that asking for referrals is about others, not about them. I present the idea that asking for a referral from people in your Sphere allows you to help more people with their Real Estate needs. This approach is about others, not about us.

Here is an example of this concept. “I am always available to help you, or someone you know, with any of your real estate needs or concerns. Of the people you know, who do you think might be the next person to need help in buying or selling a home?”

Kent Swigard, a successful John L. Scott agent in Seattle, uses the following approach. “Who can you think of who would appreciate or benefit from the type of service we offer? If you would be willing to give me their name and phone number, I promise I will follow-up and take great care of them for you.”

The emphasis is on helping people. In the process of helping others, you will help yourself. However, the first and primary focus is on helping others. When we sincerely think of others first, asking for referrals becomes a natural and sincere way of wanting to serve the Real Estate needs of more people. Like any new behavior or way of thinking, it takes practice. The more you practice, the more comfortable and routine it will become.

So, now it is decision time. What will be your cost if you stay stuck by continuing not to ask for referrals? What do you have to gain by addressing your fears and learning the art of asking for referrals? The choice is yours.

About the Author:
Stuart Kaufman, MS, MBA, is a Real Estate Business Coach who has coached, trained, and inspired over 1,500 Real Estate Professionals to take their business to the next level while having healthy boundaries. He is a regular contributor to numerous Real Estate publications nationwide and is the head administrator of the Puget Sound School of Real Estate in Seattle, WA. Stuart can be contacted at coach@stuartkaufman.com or 206-725-1584.

© Copyright 2008, Metamorphosis Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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